Not How It's Supposed To Be
by cinderella-loves-her-shoes
Summary: Harry and Ginny. Ron and Hermione. That's what the book says. But what is the story behind the pages? An untold truth about Harry and Hermione? HHr slight bashing Not graphic just rated for themes.


Hi,

I'm back from my longest fiction ever - Coming Home To More Than Love. I wrote my one shot Innocent in the middle of that fiction because I needed a break from it, but now I'm finished. Now, here's my new little gem.

Set just after Ron comes back to his friends in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I stared down at the damp Earth, wishing it would swallow me whole. Harry had told me about Ron's little 'vision' near that pond or whatever it was, and now tings would on the verge of crumbling down before our very eyes.

I scuffed my shoe against the soft dirt. Harry had acted so cool when Ron had had a fit. I could never do that. I think Harry's getting worried about me. I sometimes wish he didn't care about me. I sometimes wish I didn't care about myself. And Ron…

Ron.

It's not as if I haven't noticed how he acts around me. I do. I'm not stupid. I just hope he forgets this little 'crush' thing he's got going on. He doesn't know the real story. Only Harry and I do. Even Ginny is oblivious.

From the day I met Harry, we both felt the connection between us. A string pull, I guess, that brought us together. The real reason I was up that night in our first year, before Ron and Harry went to duel Malfoy, was not what I said to them both. Of course, once again, only Harry and I knew the truth.

He had only just gone up to meet Ron. Before that, he'd been in the owlery. I know that because I was there with him. We'd talked, and we would have got further than that if Filch hadn't walked in to clean up the feathers and stuff. We had to leg it out of there, and there was a silent agreement not to mention what had happened.

But it happened again. The next year, the same day I was petrified. We didn't dare start anything else in out first year. You have to remember, I'm shy at the best of times and Harry was kind of emotional stunted due to the Dursleys. We had a slow start, but it's been a rollercoaster ever since.

Anyway, where was I? Second year. I'd run off to the library, but Harry was there. I couldn't escape him. The tension had been mounting, though Ron still hadn't noticed. Bless him.

Harry and I, we tried to talk. Honest, but it just got nowhere. It was lunchtime, so everyone was in the hall. We were the only ones there. I don't know who started it, but I finally got that kiss. Oh, it was beautiful and delicious and so utterly fantastic.

He backed me into a bookcase, attacking my mouth with his own. I couldn't help but to respond, but I don't regret it. We plundered around in each other's mouths. It was so wrong, but so brilliantly right. I was meant to be with Ron, but I wanted to be with Harry. Needed to be with Harry.

Oh, and that whole mirror thing? Total accident. He had to leave or it would be too suspicious. We didn't want Ron to feel pushed out, so he went first. That mirror was in my bag, but I wasn't being clever. I was checking out the scarlet love bite that Harry had adorned me with. I guess it's kind of sweet when you look at it that way; his kiss saved me. But for the record, I was just being my normal intelligent self.

Third year really clinched it. I was with Harry for hours, all alone, and we had to do something to pass the time. No, not that far. But it was the best make-out session I had had. We had decided to leave each other alone in second year and we managed most of out third year as well. But I just had to- I can't explain it. I just had to taste him again. It had been so long, and Ron still hadn't made a move. It wasn't as if I believed he still hadn't grown out of the crush.

That summer was dreadful though. Things got awkward between Harry and I. We both knew what we had done wasn't what was supposed to happen. People still sent rumours around about Ron and I and I just couldn't bring myself to hurt him. That summer, I had to endure Ron's shy glances even though he never said anything. I pretended to be mirror his shyness about starting a relationship (Harry had given quite a bit of confidence) and his feelings, but it was torture watching Ginny throw herself at Harry. She confided in me that she longed for him, and she even said she was in love. She would hate me if she knew.

In fourth year, things got a bit heated between myself and Harry. The competition to forget each other in that way, I mean. He went after Cho Chang, and I found Victor. Neither of us were happy, but we wanted to pretend we were. Stupid and pathetic, but I wanted him to know I controlled who I wanted and who I needed.

I didn't, but he didn't have to know.

The rumours that flew nearly blew our cover up of the years before. I was so scared Ron and Ginny and Cho and Victor would find out, but they just believed the press was running riot. Thank god.

We got passed that year, but Harry and I had a passionate night again at the end of fourth year. He looked so alone, so vulnerable, I tried to comfort him as a friend. But those lips wouldn't stop talking and - okay, I started it, but he brought it on himself.

Things had increased. Those talented hands had crept up my legs and thighs and reached a more sensitive spot. But that one was his fault. The hand job that followed wasn't my fault either.

Honest!

That summer we stayed away from each other, though it was so hard not to try and tear his clothes from his body and jump him in the hallways. I resisted, though. When we got into fifth year, I thought it was really over. Ginny caught his attention a bit more than she had done ever before, and I tried to show I didn't care by giving Ron a bit more of a tight leash. It was the wrong thing to do, but I was hurt.

By the end of fifth year, Harry and I had grown so close again. We were the best of friends, but we both wanted more and we both knew it too. However, there was no beautiful night this year. He grieved terribly for Sirius, we all did. But it broke his heart.

I wanted to fix him.

Sixth year saw Harry with Ginny. He pulled away from me and from Ron, encasing himself in someone else. I was heart broken, but I couldn't give up on him. My unstoppable caring seemed to work and by the time Dumbledore died, we were as close as we had been, except he was still with Ginny.

I totally lost faith in Ron romantically and focused everything on Harry after Dumbledore's death. He seemed to noticed, and when we finally left we picked up where we left off.

So Ron had seen what had happened between us. We had kissed, had done a lot more than that, but we still couldn't bring ourselves to hurt Ron and Ginny back home.

But if not now, then when?

Will Harry ever be mine?

That was answered a few days ago. The ring I keep around my neck is proof of that.

nineteen years later

We were to get married after the war. But now we have children and spouses. It could never happen. I will never loose hope though, that my Harry will come back to the one he loves for good. Of course, we haven't told Ginny or Ron that every day at work we spend over an hour in a meeting which only the two of us can attend.

Well, we all know that love conquers everything.

Even happy endings.


End file.
